Its 12.15am. Monday.

My wife is probably elbow deep in the vagina of a 17-year-old on her third fatherless bastard while I’m home watching Debbie Does Dallas and thinking of a lissome stripper who can tune a pole like a silk scarf riding the wind.

If you think I’m horny you’re wrong. If you bet that I’m drunk you’d be homeless; nevermind the bottle of tequila nearby that is making bonita eyes at me. I am restless. I want to roll through the desolation that is downtown with its garbage piles and fat, resigned, baton-wielding grannies; maybe stop and gamble with the fellas at Regent and King Streets or knock dominoes with the others a little further up. Or maybe drop in at Palm Court where I can see one drunken minister or another chasing teenagers who attend the same private schools that his kids do.

These are the kinds of experiences that might add colour to the cog-like existence you call your life. Is it time to obliterate the morass that has fevered your brain into accepting that your only due is a cheque, a Facebook account and aborted fuckdates because you do not tote a Blackberry? Damn right it is. It is time to beta test that motherfucker you want to be.

I know we have to return to the plantation in a matter of hours …

With that out of the way I wanna wish both of you who still bother to visit this page occasionally a happy new year and all that good shit. It’s gonna be a helluva year. It’s been very eventful so far and we’re still in the first fortnight. But fuck the news. Damn, I can’t believe ‘fuck’ is not in this fone’s dictionary. Remedied. As I was about to say, the news is depressing; crime and politics. And while I play my part in driving you to Prozac, believe me it’s no fun for me either.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. There is no purpose to this post. Specifically, I feel there is no purpose for me to continue blogging, or to restart. Seriously. But even as I write this I hear Chris Brown and someone called Chipmunk on the radio. I guess there doesn’t need to be a reason for everything. This obviously contradicts my opening about the likelihood of more posts but it’s been that kind of day so far. The whole prospect of returning to work and doing it all over again just chaps my ass. Even ass is not in this fucking dictionary. Damn.

I need to take my meds.

Visit a strip club. Not only men visit these establishments; both times I visited a particular location on Robb Street there were goodly numbers of female patrons present. A word of advice though, titillation is subjective. I have been known to nod off in these places.

Make a one day resolution. I will not drop kick anyone today, I will not tell the talkative chick at work what’s on my mind today, I will not show my boss the finger today, I will not spend any money today (good luck with this one) or I will earn my salary today. You get the idea.

Make someone smile. It’s politic. You never know what you might need from them.

Now go forth and lay waste to your life. Remember, you’re not going to get out of this alive.

What do you do for a living?

Right now I’m just focusing on my show. Leaving my job was a decision I had to make. Working 8-10 hours a day, coming home … it was really putting a strain on me. A piece I would usually take two weeks to do I would take a month, two months and it was really sucking up a lot of time. The show’s coming up and I’ve got a lot of work to do so it was a decision I had to make and now I’m really, you know, be at it constantly to meet the requirements.

I take it your parents are supporting you again?

Yes, definitely. Well thankfully working with pencil is not an expensive medium; the paper I get at Austin’s. The only thing is the framing but so far I’ve been able to cover all my expenses so I don’t have a problem with that area right now.

Have you been able to make any money off your art?

Yes. The first drawing that I sold actually was after graduation (from The Burrowes School of Art in 2007). I sold about four or five pieces. The most expensive piece I sold back then was $55,000. The first piece I sold at an exhibition outside my graduation was with the Women Artists (Guyana Women Artists Association) at the Brazilian Center on Church Street. That was $45,000. Then again at Carifesta I sold another piece. But after I realised that I wanted a show I stopped selling because I realised I had to get pieces for the exhibition.

How many pieces have you accumulated so far?

So far about 19, everything isn’t here (gestures to paintings surrounding us). I wanted to include a few early pieces so people could really see the transition; this is how I started and this is where I am right now so that’s what I’m planning to do.      

You’re on the Women Artists Association executive and what have you folks been up to?

Actually I opted for the least responsibility, I’m the assistant treasurer. They wanted me to be the president but I said no way.

They’ve been doing a lot of workshops around the country. They got funding from the IDB to host workshops for children all across Guyana. They’re planning their final workshop I think, I’m not too certain when it is, I haven’t been too active lately (laughs). But we’re also planning our usual annual exhibition. The women artists group is something I’m very proud of because they’ve been around for a very, very long time, they’ve been consistent in the quality that they put out, so it’s a group that I’m very proud to be associated with.

Is there any local artist who inspires your work?

Not necessarily inspiration but a there are a lot of artists that I like. Obviously Stanley Greaves, Carl Anderson, Winslow Craig. I love Winslow Craig’s work. He is very refined in his finish. Carl Anderson’s work is mind blowing, the detail is … his work is … I can only dream to be half as good as him but you know I’m in contact with him; we talk a lot on the internet. He’s in Guyana right now, a very nice person, very dedicated to his work, one of the most hardworking persons you would ever meet. And he has to be because his work is very, very demanding and he has to be consistent in his quality. He has already broken into the international market and that’s a huge accomplishment; Stanley Greaves has done that. He does everything, he writes poems, he’s a musician, he is an artist and one of the very few real artists we have. What happens as an artist you’re never quite satisfied with where you are or the medium that you’re working in, you’re always looking for some other way to express your ideas and so he explores poetry and music. Very, very talented, very well spoken, very well read.

How do you see art fitting in with the current generation given the fixation with phenomena like Facebook?

The internet and technology really in my opinion might have been the birth and death of so many things. Everything is going so fast and people are moving so and they are overworking themselves. They’re doing so many things at one time; they’re not taking time to really appreciate any one thing. It doesn’t have to necessarily be art, but whatever they’re passionate about. The thing is, everyone has ideas, everyone has things to say, everyone has troubles and I think if art is to play a more important role then start from very small in schools. People will learn how to channel their emotions, they’re ideas and thoughts rather than acting out and lashing out. They’d learn to do it in a more cultured way, through poetry, dance, drama, music, visual art. I think the arts are very important to anyone.

Is there anyone special to whom you’d like to express appreciation?

I like the fact that people are beginning to write more about art, visual art especially. They’ve been writing about theatre for a while and a lot seems to be happening in the music industry and the fashion industry. I think there is need for more visual arts journalists. A lot is happening under the radar that people don’t know about. You have to go out there and find the people and show the public what’s happening and try to convince the powers that be that this is worth investing in. The thing is they (the powers that be) have to put qualified people who know what they’re about around the arts and who have enough ideas and can work with people to get stuff done. They have put some people who do not know head from tail about what they’re talking about, they just get put in a position they’re completely unqualified for.

One of the regrets I had was about leaving the Art page. I liked going out and write because you learn a lot and it was easier for me because I speak the artist’s language so it was easy for me to relate to them and try to put it over so the public could appreciate. I kinda miss that but right now I have my show and trying to get stuff so I need to focus on my work.

Art is indeed a selfish pursuit …

Yes, it is because it I so demanding and you pray that you make it and make it big and when you do it gets so consuming. A lot of the great artists had terrible personal lives. They had multiple marriages, some of them overdosed on drugs, suicide … and it happens not just with great artists, also great musicians, great writers. I hope it doesn’t happen to me (laughs). I want to use whatever I have because giving back is always something that I felt very strongly about, like whatever I have I feel like I have a responsibility to see how I can use that to help others and give back to art in Guyana.

½ lb cheddar cheese

½ lb deboned chicken

flour

salt

celery and other preferred seasonings…

… it’s 10 pm and the wife is asleep having pulled a 36-hour shift. I lie besides her trying not to move while life slowly departs the arm upon which her head rests. The mosquitoes have conducted several forays upon my person but I know those were only scouting expeditions. To shift would mean waking her, something I’m loathe to do, so I return to my meditation …

…

Nothing happens. Marriage has changed me in ways my parents, boarding school and the military failed to do. I’ve never thought of myself as a nice person. I’m now an efficient, considerate, observant crewmember of the human race. I’m not unhappy.

season and salt meat before adding flour to create patty

slice off top of peppers and scoop out seeds

I told a friend I didn’t enter marriage with any conscious expectations. I was right. We were together for nine years before the day she wed me and I had told myself it was just a change in living arrangements. The truth, as they say, is never that simple.

wash peppers with warm water then stuff with patty

half pan with water and place in oven

set low

I try to be her god of small things. Make her tea. Peel vegetables. Learn to cook. Clip her nails. Smile and kiss her for no reason. Curb my natural impatience. Make plans to go to church. Rub her feet.

bake for 25 minutes

grate cheese and sprinkle on concoction

bite in with gusto!

Red wine an excellent option.

And because the name of the holiday is self-explanatory, women don’t have to worry about what to get their men. It’s simple: a kickass steak and some memorable oral sex. Swallowing is optional.

Steak and BJ day was popularized by radio show host Tom Birdsey in 2002, and has since become a phenomenon among men who really want that steak and BJ. Can you blame ‘em?

I think that men definitely deserve a holiday in which to call their own. I mean, let’s face it; Valentine ’s Day really is all about the women and men get stressed about what to buy them and whether or not their women will like it.

So why shouldn’t men get to enjoy a day that is all about them? Don’t men deserve to have a day where they get to devour a big, juicy steak and then get devoured by the very woman that made it for them?

More here.